A true story...
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Pet Heaven is like People Heaven, except its for for pets.
Only good animals go here; the rest go to Hell.
Pet Heaven was constructed in 6,000 BC when regular Heaven, which housed both people and animals alike, ran out of room.
At first, this problem was solved by throwing excess cats back down to Earth.
Thus, the popular expression....
"It's raining cats and dogs."
Cats always land on their feet." and "Holy carp I just got hit by a cat, that really hurts, please, get it off."
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Official languages..
Duck
Penguinese
English
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Capital..
Kingdom Come.
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Head of State...
DinoJesus. "wowf wowf"
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Form of Government...
Dogtatorship
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National Flower...
Flowers don't grow on clouds, idiot!!

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lol Good one Mike. Good to now my dog Flika went to Pet Heaven. R.I.P Flika

Hey I know the feeling, my first dog "merk" died a few years ago, and jeez, that hurt loads, bout broke my heart..

I speak duck, but that's about it. So me cannot translate

Why would you throw a cat huh? That's so rude...

Ooops!! sorry, i missed this one..
Yeh, i was only joking about the cats bit, that was only to get the "raining cats an dogs" part in there some place..
And yeps, the duck (otherwise known as..Quackus Flyus.) has a very difficult language to learn.. each quack has a different meaning, depending on the tone of the quack...... in fact... its not all its quacked up to be.. *rolls about on the floor laughing at own joke*
- Pssst!! mikey..
what?
- only fools laugh at their own jokes..
Huh!!, now you flipping well tell me, ive been laughing at my own jokes for ages now...
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Weve got a famous duck here in Britain...
The Duck of Cornwall is a unique creature of Britain.
Slightly older than your nan, this creature is quite often photographed atop a horse (camilla) and is known for its tweed plumage and distinct call "Naff awff".
*Doesnt laugh at own joke this time*

Quack Quack...Ducks most certainly can fly, but most of them cannot read, which is why you see them flying round in circles, they cant read the signposts to see where theyre going to.
Quack!!!?